Men have such an amazing ability to focus on one thing at a time. It is their strength. I’ve written about it before (1/20/13). However, at the time I first wrote about it, I didn’t add to it the perspective of how the strength of women is to see all of the potential results of their own actions and the actions of others. These two very different strengths ought to compliment one another, but sometimes they come into sharp contrast with the troubling result of starting an argument.
What happened around here this morning is a great example of how these abilities could try to divide us. This morning, my husband and I were going to go to a Bible study meeting. We usually bring a large pot of coffee along with us for the participants. Before we left, he wanted to wash up some of the dishes that were in the sink. However, it was starting to get late and I was thinking of the repercussions of being late. He was focused on finishing the dishes. Maybe you’re already seeing where this is headed. He picked up the rather large filter for the coffee pot and said that he was going to get rid of the grounds. I asked him not to. I had two reasons for that, both of which seemed valid to me and both of which seemed difficult to explain to him on the spur of the moment. I thought that it was getting late and I wanted him to finish with the dishes already so we could leave and also, the grounds were still hot and I didn’t want him to put them on my outdoor plants while they were still hot.
While those thoughts were still percolating in my brain, he was already reacting, complaining that I always tell him not to do this, not to do that. We carried on in silence for a while until a little light bulb went off revealing what had just happened. Like a man, he was completely focused on getting those pesky dishes done, convinced that he was making me happy by doing it. At the same time, my brain was visualizing all of the ramifications of him continuing with the dishes while time was moving on and of what would result from him throwing the hot grounds on my beloved plants. He was doing what men do best, focusing, and I was thinking like a woman.
Men and women both have their innate strengths. If we can recognize them for what they are, we can work together and become a stronger couple instead of reacting and resenting one another for being different. Men need to be able to focus intently on what they’re doing. It helps them to do a great job. And women need to be able to think of all the possibilities of what might happen because of their actions. Their precautionary wisdom keeps us from doing too much damage to ourselves. Using our talents and working together, we are really strong. In the case of what happened this morning, once we talked about it, we could each see what the other was doing and laugh at ourselves a bit, all the while appreciating each other for our differences. Vive la différence!