A slight turn of the cheek

What a great quote from today’s edition (10/29/14) of the blog “Morning Story and Dilbert!”

“I don’t have to attend every argument I’m invited to.”

There’s so much involved in that short sentence!  Reading this quote is one thing.  Actually DOING it is quite another.  What does it mean in my life?  Let’s say that a former boyfriend knows exactly how and when to push my buttons.  Isn’t that always the way?  He knows everything about me and has ample practice in pushing my buttons.  He knows just where they are and what will ignite them.  So, one day as we find ourselves conversing about something important, he lets go of one of his favorite zingers.  The “invitation” is instantaneous, highly emotional and it catches me completely off guard.  I react.  I try to tell myself that next time I’ll be ready and will control myself.  However, there never is a “next time” that’s the same as the previous time.  He’s never going to push the same button in the same way.  It’s always going to be a new situation, a new way of catching me off guard.  In other words, the “invitation” is always brand new.  The instigator could be anyone: a boss, a colleague, a friend or a family member.

There is no way to answer a zinger naturally without jumping into the ring in full boxing attire.  No matter how many possible situations/answers I catalog in my brain, there is always the distinct possibility that it will be a different scenario.  The only way to prepare oneself is to prepare spiritually.  If I’m connected to God in prayer, I will be more than capable of seeing the “invitation” from a higher perspective.  I will then be more than capable of turning down the invitation to rumble because I’m in the presence of a higher invitation. Jesus never answered the zingers.  He knew who he was and didn’t need to defend himself.  So, imagine this: the next time invitations are flying through the air, as you look towards the Lord to see what He would have you do, you realize that your cheek has turned ever so slightly away from your tormentor.  He stares at you in disbelief and storms off.  “You’re impossible.  I don’t even know how I could have put up with you for as long as I did.”  Bingo.  You have just clicked the little box labeled “unfollow”.  He won’t be back for a new invitation.

http://morningstoryanddilbert.wordpress.com/2014/10/28/things-that-make-you-say-hmmmm/

Different, but working together!

Men have such an amazing ability to focus on one thing at a time.  It is their strength.  I’ve written about it before (1/20/13).  However, at the time I first wrote about it, I didn’t add to it the perspective of how the strength of women is to see all of the potential results of their own actions and the actions of others.  These two very different strengths ought to compliment one another, but sometimes they come into sharp contrast with the troubling result of starting an argument.

What happened around here this morning is a great example of how these abilities could try to divide us.  This morning, my husband and I were going to go to a Bible study meeting.  We usually bring a large pot of coffee along with us for the participants.  Before we left, he wanted to wash up some of the dishes that were in the sink.  However, it was starting to get late and I was thinking of the repercussions of being late.  He was focused on finishing the dishes.  Maybe you’re already seeing where this is headed.  He picked up the rather large filter for the coffee pot and said that he was going to get rid of the grounds.  I asked him not to.  I had two reasons for that, both of which seemed valid to me and both of which seemed difficult to explain to him on the spur of the moment.  I thought that it was getting late and I wanted him to finish with the dishes already so we could leave and also, the grounds were still hot and I didn’t want him to put them on my outdoor plants while they were still hot.

While those thoughts were still percolating in my brain, he was already reacting, complaining that I always tell him not to do this, not to do that.  We carried on in silence for a while until a little light bulb went off revealing what had just happened.  Like a man, he was completely focused on getting those pesky dishes done, convinced that he was making me happy by doing it.  At the same time, my brain was visualizing all of the ramifications of him continuing with the dishes while time was moving on and of what would result from him throwing the hot grounds on my beloved plants.  He was doing what men do best, focusing, and I was thinking like a woman.

Men and women both have their innate strengths.  If we can recognize them for what they are, we can work together and become a stronger couple instead of reacting and resenting one another for being different.  Men need to be able to focus intently on what they’re doing.  It helps them to do a great job.  And women need to be able to think of all the possibilities of what might happen because of their actions.  Their precautionary wisdom keeps us from doing too much damage to ourselves.  Using our talents and working together, we are really strong.  In the case of what happened this morning, once we talked about it, we could each see what the other was doing and laugh at ourselves a bit, all the while appreciating each other for our differences.  Vive la différence!

Does Obama Care?

I’m digressing today. I actually do not like politics, but politics came knocking on my door today, or perhaps a better description would be that it came slamming the door in my face. For my living I am an adjunct instructor. Universities love to hire adjuncts because they don’t have to pay them so much and don’t have to give them benefits. Therefore, most adjuncts need two jobs to survive. We juggle crazy schedules because we love our students.

I lost half of my salary today when my evening job was taken away from me the day before the start of classes because of the new rules concerning Obamacare. In the morning I teach one class at a state university and at night I teach one class in a local community college. About a year ago, the two systems (state universities and state community colleges) merged. The reason I lost my job is because Obamacare reduces the number of hours that a person can work in one company or, in this case, one system. Once an employee goes over that cap, the employer needs to provide health care to them. Even though I work in two separate schools, it is considered one system. I only teach two classes. Both are slightly intensive, one being ten hours a week and the other six hours a week. I have worked at the morning job for 22 years and the evening job for 10 years, and yet now they say that I cannot continue teaching my evening class. My immediate boss fought hard to keep me, but the college would not back down. They said that they cannot afford to give me benefits.

I don’t know how you feel about things, but all I can say is how will you feel when they come after your job? Personally, I know that God will take care of me. He always has and always will. He is bigger than their puny laws and regulations. He is so incredible, kind and wonderful. Man’s laws pale, and in fact stink, in the face of the beauty and righteousness, coupled with kindness, of God’s laws.

The loss of my job matters to no one but my husband and I. It will not show up on any lost jobs list. The job still exists and someone will fill it. I will not show up on lists of the unemployed because I am not unemployed. I still have one job at which, as an adjunct, I am treated as a new employee each semester even though I have worked there for 22 years. It’s true that the loss of my job matters only to me, my husband and the students I would have taught, but it did matter a lot to me. I loved it. I loved my students and frankly, I needed the extra money. Does Obama care?

Enduring patiently

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Charity suffereth long.

Suffereth means to have patience, to patiently endure. We humans don’t always patiently endure each other. The way God patiently endures with us, his children, is absolutely amazing. Just as it has taken many years for this waterfall to soften the rocks in its path, he is willing to take his time softening our hard edges.  How does he do it? He doesn’t shout at us or push us around. He watches while we make life altering mistakes, knowing that he can turn it around to help us in the end. He allows our stupidity, knowing that through it we’ll learn a valuable lesson and that once we learn it we won’t go back to that particular idiotic behavior. He coaxes and inspires and, once in a great while, allows others to shout at us if we’re really blockheads.

I think back through the ages at some of the most colossal mistakes and how God suffered through our ignorance and hatefulness. What about the Crusades, the Inquisition, slavery and subsequent prejudice against those who had once been enslaved? How about more recent ones like the atom bomb, overuse of antibiotics and GMO’s? He suffers through our idiocy as we destroy each other and sometimes the planet on so many levels and then plants a seed in someone’s brain to help us turn around from such things. He gives us at the same time Hitler and Einstein, Roman oppression and Jesus. He always makes a way out of our troubles.

Most of our history is built on mistakes, hatefulness and oppression. God’s enduring patience has turned our negativity into the Renaissance, discoveries, and growth in compassion and renewed hope. Personal growth is often measured in the same way. We learn the most from our biggest blunders. Learning to practice patiently enduring while our friends, family members and neighbors are in the midst of their latest flub would go a long way in helping us to both see and right our wrongs.

God lives what he preaches. What an awesome guy to emulate!

Of Hazelnuts and Truth

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It’s always exciting to see how long the hazelnuts on our bushes can last before the squirrels take a shine to them.  It has become a bit of a competition, a kind of them or me sort of mind battle.  This year, they won a little, but I had the last hurrah.  I discovered last night to my horror that they had stripped one of the bushes almost completely of every last nut.  However, that gave me the heads up and so my husband and I got out there and saved the rest.  How sad for them to discover the empty bushes later last night when they were hoping for a nice hazelnut feast overnight!

Sometimes life is like that, a kind of competition.  God graciously gives us truth and there are those who would like to strip it from us.  We absolutely must keep watch to make sure that the truth is not stealthily taken from us during the night.  These are dark days even though the sun shines so brightly that it burns our skin.  It’s so easy to be lured away from what is real and good.  While we’re checking our smart phones for the latest updates, the truth could be stripped from us and we wouldn’t even know it.

Let’s watch. Let’s fall head over heals in love with the truth. Let’s make it our life.  No one and nothing can take away something that has been intricately woven into the very fabric of our lives.

A Crystal Stair in Disguise

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This is one of my favorite poems by Langston Hughes, Mother to Son.  When one of my daughters was young, she changed it to Daughter to Mother and recited it to me at a time when my life seemed really as if it had been no crystal stair.  Quite a few years and experiences have passed under the bridge since then.  The poem is perfect as is, but as life’s struggles add layers of richness to one’s wisdom, I think that I would add onto this poem some kind of little postscript to thank God for every one of those difficulties: the bare places, the splinters and the places where the boards had been torn up.  Each one of them was leading me on to the next landing, the next summit where there would be a new panorama view on life and truth.  Thank you, Lord.  Life did not seem like a crystal stair to me at times, but although it was in disguise, it truly was a crystal stair leading to you.  That’s what life is all about!  Something to remember when you’re going through tough times.

Mother to Son

BY LANGSTON HUGHES

Well, son, I’ll tell you:
Life for me ain’t been no crystal stair.
It’s had tacks in it,
And splinters,
And boards torn up,
And places with no carpet on the floor—
Bare.
But all the time
I’se been a-climbin’ on,
And reachin’ landin’s,
And turnin’ corners,
And sometimes goin’ in the dark
Where there ain’t been no light.
So boy, don’t you turn back.
Don’t you set down on the steps
’Cause you finds it’s kinder hard.
Don’t you fall now—
For I’se still goin’, honey,
I’se still climbin’,
And life for me ain’t been no crystal stair.

Langston Hughes, “Mother to Son” from Collected Poems. Copyright © 1994 by The Estate of Langston Hughes.

A simple hike leads to this stunning panorama

I’ve changed the picture at the top of my page.  There is a little story behind the photo.  Recently, my husband and i went camping for a week in the White Mountains of New Hampshire.  We love hiking but at the outset of our vacation our hiking legs usually need an upgrade.  On the first day, we went on a lovely and not too demanding hike to the top of Mount Willard.  The view from the top is outstanding and I recommend it highly.  The second day we went to Arethusa Falls.  It was about as demanding as the first day’s hike and the beauty of the falls was incredible.  On the third day, we just began hiking without really knowing our destination, but God knew where we were going.  After about an hour and a half of hiking we had to choose: continue upwards to the summit of Mount Jackson or head downwards to see another falls?  Well, we prefer to do our hard work of upward climbing first, so we headed up.

The description of the “moderately difficult” climb did not prepare us for the rest of the hike up the mountain.  It was NOT moderate, at least not in my definition of the word.  Very near the end, we met a man with a young boy coming down and the man encouraged us to go on because, as he said, “It’s only a few minutes to the top.”  I thought, “If a kid can do it, I can too.”  Hehe.  Those few minutes necessitated scrambling over enormous boulders with only a few small branches on the sides to hang onto.  But then … we reached the top.  John went first and told me to try to make it.  He said it would be worth it.  At the top was a panorama perhaps a hundred times more beautiful than the picture you see at the top of my page.  There were no trees, so you could see 360 degrees around.  Mount Washington rose in the distance and the valley that we had come from meandered much further below us than I had imagined.  We took a lot of pictures and gaped in awe of God’s creation that remains so beautiful in spite of what man has done to it.  The wind began to whistle and the clouds foretold a possible change in the weather and so we had to tear ourselves away from that gorgeous spot.  I think that it will always remain in my mind as the most amazing and beautiful view I have ever seen, the view of a lifetime.

A simple hike on a normal day.  We started out, not knowing where we were going.  Life is like that.  We start out not knowing our path or where it will lead us, but we keep on climbing.  I would like to encourage everyone out there to keep on climbing.  Choose the way up.  It may be difficult, even more difficult than you had anticipated, but when you get to the top, the view will be more beautiful than anything you could have imagined.  God can show you things in this life that will stay with you forever.  Those views will encourage you through the hard times and lead you onward.  Take the risk.  God is so worth it.  He is the summit of all summits, the panorama of all panoramas.

 

A Question for Rappers

Yesterday, a friend posted a rap on their facebook page and it came up on my home page. It was eight minutes long and usually would be too long to tempt me to click on the play button. However, the title caught my attention. “Man vs. God/Official Mime Video.” I went ahead and clicked and it held my attention right from the start. Very well done. It made me ask myself again something I’ve wondered in the past. Why don’t rappers rap about subjects that will uplift people and help them to have more respect for themselves and others instead of all of the trash talk and venting of anger?

So, rappers, why don’t you do that? You hold a LOT of power in your hands to help people or to make them descend into a deeper pit. Use that ability you have to make this world a better place! Just saying.

COMMITMENT

 

Recently, my students were learning how to revise an essay in my evening ESL reading/writing class.  A few sentences in the introduction of the revised final draft that we were studying in the book caught my attention.  “A generation ago, it was common for workers to stay at their place of employment for years and years.  When it was time for these employees to retire, companies would offer a generous pension package and, sometimes, a token of appreciation, such as a watch, keychain, or other trinket.  Oh, how times have changed.  Nowadays, people – especially younger workers – jump from job to job like bees fly from flower to flower to pollinate.”  (Great Writing: Great Essays 4, Cengage Learning, 2014)  We continued reading as the essay went on to explain the reasons people have for quitting their jobs.  However, my eyes and mind remained focused on the ideas and images evoked by those descriptive words, ideas about the subject of commitment.

My own father worked at GMC for many years and retired exactly as described above.  He had a nice party where they gave him a fine watch and a very nice pension package.  He was rewarded for his dependableness and his loyalty and his retirement package helped him to live a comfortable life for many years.  In contrast to his traditional life, it seems to me that nowadays people are not content to be in one job.  They are always looking for something better, something bigger, something with better pay, more benefits, or more prestige.  High profile CEO’s and sports team managers flit from team to team or from corporation to corporation just like the busy bees in the essay that my students read.  University presidents stay at one university just long enough to make a name for themselves before they start a search for something better.  They appear to be loyal at the time that they are at the university, but they are on a career path for themselves, not for the university.

No one blames any of these career people for jumping ship.  The sole exception seems to be when sports figures leave one team for another one that offers them a better package.  The fans blame them for leaving the home team and may even boo them when they come back to the hometown for a game against their former team mates.  The booing may last for a while, but before long that sports figure is replaced by another favorite in the hearts of the fans.  It makes you wonder though.  With so many prominent examples of professionals doing “what’s right for themselves,” how can young people understand the importance of loyalty or of a commitment?

Furthermore, the lack of loyalty in a sports figure or a university president or on the job is just a scratch on the surface of modern society.  What happens when there is no commitment or loyalty in a friendship or in a marriage?  In the United States, many friendships don’t seem to last very long.  Even in marriage, the idea of commitment is on the wane.  Couples come together for a time, but when difficulties arise, their love diminishes and they lose their interest in maintaining the relationship.  Before too long, they find “something better” and move on with their lives.

However, commitment and loyalty are qualities that are desperately needed today.  They are not simply old-fashioned qualities for a generation that is quickly disappearing.  It occurred to me recently that the importance of commitment cannot be negated.  In this life, we all are made up of both emotions and principles.  Emotions are as fleeting as the wind.  They sweep in like a summer breeze and inspire us with all kinds of wonderful feelings and ideas.  We think that these intense feelings will last forever, not realizing that life’s situations will change just as assuredly as the weather and as our situations change, so also do the feelings that accompany them.  For one minute we are on cloud nine and the next we can hardly remember what it felt like to float so high in the stratosphere.  Emotions inspire us, give us courage and make us take giant leaps of faith, but they can never hold us.  In a relationship, when we no longer feel the intensity of our first feelings, the emotional “high” of falling in love, will we “fall out of love” with the person we are with?  Will we forget what we ever even liked about the person?

That is why we need commitment.  We make commitments based on those lofty feelings.  We jump into relationships or marriage because we know what it is to feel on top of the world.  We enter into something that we say is for the long haul, but do we have what it takes to hang on to it?  A true commitment is the faith to hold us through.  It is the anchor that we hold on to when the current gets too swift and knocks us off of our feet.  Life is such that difficulties will inevitably come.  Everyone is subject to difficulties.  If someone has no difficulties, they must not truly be alive.  Some of the troubles that pop up in our lives seem but a moment, but others linger and pester us for years and years.  What does a person hang onto that has no faith?  More and more, we see people around us that are drowning.  They flounder and flail their arms and cry out for help.  Some get angry and act out on their anger in horrible ways that become the next day’s headlines.  They have no anchor.  They would like to make a commitment, but they have no faith.  There is nothing there for them to hang onto when trials come along.  In their relationships, they don’t even see the point of hanging on.

Commitment, on the other hand, hangs on in troubled times.  Commitment knows that troubles cannot last forever.  Faith holds on when everything around it is just a blur, at times not even remembering why it is holding on.  It just knows that it must hang on.  Everything we know and hold dear can crumble, but faith stands strong.  One day, when the situation finally changes and the summer breeze returns and the tender feelings fill our hearts again, then that faith finally receives its reward.  The emotions that once were strong are stronger still.  The person him/herself could not have ever imagined that the original loving emotion could somehow one day be doubled in sweetness, but now finds that it is so.